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At Their Moldiest

by The Quagaars

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1.
2.
Take a walk down to the swimming pool, Today's weather's surprisingly cool, You just can't wait to hit the water, You pay your money and you go inside, You find a cubicle where you can hide, And once you're in there then it hits you, And it's oh so hot, It's oh so hot, It's oh so hot in there, And it's oh so hot, It's oh so hot, It's oh so hot in there,, You're soaked right through before you hit the pool, To shower first is the golden rule, As the sweat cascades into your eyes, Beyond the changing room it's not so hot, I don't know why they make you sweat a lot, Before you've even started swimming, At the Walsall Swim, At the Walsall Swim, At the Walsall Swimming Pools, At the Walsall Swim, At the Walsall Swim, At the Walsall Swimming Pools, The brine pool is the place to be, I hope that nobody needs to pee, So you try not to drink the water, You swim around for about an hour, Then you head back into the shower, And in the changing room it hits you, And it's oh so hot, It's oh so hot, It's oh so hot in there, And it's oh so hot, It's oh so hot, It's oh so hot in there.
3.
GUITAR SOLO. VERSE 1: If you want to get high, That's entirely up to you, But when you try to convince me, It's something I don't want to do, CHORUS: Why would I want to get high, When I'd just have to come back down, You want to teach me to fly, But I fear I'm about to drown, GUITAR SOLO. VERSE 2: I don't want to get in trouble, Don't want to end up in the loony bin, Don't want to have to hide from the cops, So I can't let you win, CHORUS. ANINA SOLO? GUITAR SOLO. VERSE 3: I'm not trying to tell you, What you should or shouldn't do, Just don't try to convince me, That I should live the way you do, CHORUS X2.
4.
VERSE 1: Can't breathe, I sneeze, Oh please, Hayfever, At night, Not right, The plight, Of Hayfever, CHORUS: Hey Hey It's The Fever! VERSE 2: It's not, A plot, The snot, It's hayfever, All day, In the way, Of play, Hayfever, CHORUS. MIDDLE 8: It makes you feel real tired, It might just get you fired, If you sneeze all over your boss, It might just lead to job loss, CHORUS. VERSE 3: Can't breathe, I sneeze, Oh please, Hayfever, At night, Not right, The plight, Of Hayfever, It's not, A plot, The snot, It's hayfever, All day, In the way, Of play, Hayfever.
5.
VERSE 1: Have you ever sat down to watch a film, You turn the TV on, You load up the streaming service, To find it's gone, They've gone and sold the rights, To the highest bidder, As they role around in cash, They feel like the winner, CHORUS: Keep it physical X3. VERSE 2: Have you ever watched a film on physical media, Then watched it again, And again and again and again and again, And again and again, You only had to buy it once, The fun never ends, Instead of paying monthy fees, To keep up with trends, GUITAR SOLO. CHORUS. MIDDLE 8: Fuck Netflix! Fuck Disney Plus! Fuck Hulu! Fuck Paramount Plus! Fuck streaming! Fuck the lot! VERSE 3: I find it's much better to have an archive, To go back to, So I can choose what I want to watch, If it's old or new, I don't have to pay by the month, The collection's mine, To keep on watching forever, Time after time, CHORUS.
6.
Paroxetine 02:52
VERSE 1: Some people say that I behave obsessively, All I can say is that I'm trying to be me, But it's not the person that they think that I should be, They give me pills they say will set my odd brain free, CHORUS: Paroxetine, VERSE 2: Some people say that I act too depressively, And that my awkwardness is social anxiety, Psychologists say that it is easy for them to see, Psychiatrists keep giving those tablets to me, CHORUS. VERSE 3: It doesn't do much but it has some fun side effects, I can't complain though cause what else should I expect, I can't let my mental health fall into neglect, So I ammuse myself with the things that I collect.
7.
It was an interlude, He was feeling rather rude, So he ran in the nude, And stole some dog food, As his parents stewed, And the locals booed, As he squated and pooed, On the lawn of Gertrude, Police weren't in the mood, For something so lewd, Or something so crude, So they put him in prison for an interlude.
8.
VERSE 1: They all say that you're just getting old, When your joint do not fold, Things are harder to hold, It's always the same refrain, When you're feeling the pain, It's not all in your brain, CHORUS: It's enough to drive you in sane, When you're living in pain, when you're living in pain, VERSE 2: When you stand up and your knees make a noise, And you're losing your poise, Cause it's taking your joys, Medications that you cannot afford, Nor a hospital ward, And there is no reward, Pain in your shoulder and pain in your back, It feels like an attack, The compassion they lack, There's no relief when cash is the king, It's what they want you to bring, Cause money's their thing, CHORUS. TIME TO SELF MEDICATE!
9.
VERSE 1: Walk down to Bootle Oriel Road, To catch the train, Take a trip to the centre of Liverpool, To play music again, CHORUS: Walking through the streets of Liverpool, At night, VERSE 2: The Jacaranda's aways red hot, The Cavern Pub will rock all night, A rum and cola at Metrocola, At Hemingway's the mood is just right, CHORUS. MIDDLE 8: Missed the last train back to Bootle, Have to walk 4 miles, Heels on my boots and guitar on my back, But something makes me smile, Walked through the set of a television show, I was holding up filming so I had to go (Hello Martin Freeman!), VERSE 3: Just about to reach the hotel, I see a shadow shoot across the road, I don't know just what it was, But it bumped into my toe (then it disappeared), CHORUS. FADE OUT.
10.
Dark Secrets 03:50
No one knows, What's going on behind closed doors, The friendly man, Always talking about cricket scores, Don't look, Too far behind those eyes, Dark secrets, Destructive lies, Hiding, Hiding out within plain site, Outside, He would never start a fight, The violence, Raging on inside his mind, The victims, That he hoped they'd never find.
11.
Verse 1: Wait a minute, Bloody typical, We've got to wait for the man that's a lady, Have a look, That has to be a chap, Look at the size of them feet, Look at the size of them feet! Bridge 1: She spread her toxic views, Trying to give me the blues, Verse 2: Hey mate, Dude! Are you a boy or a girl? A girl? But with a cock and balls, yeah? Ha ha ha! Look at the size of them feet, Look at the size of them feet! Bridge 2: He tried to take me down, Trip me up and make me frown, Verse 3: Oi, you! You "identify" as a woman? I'll identify as the tooth fairy if you come in here, You've got the wrong chromasomes, boy, Give us back our biology! And look at the size of them feet, Look at the size of them feet! Bridge 3: Threats of violence and verbal abuse, Thrown around with no excuse, Verse 4: I've got no time for transphobic hate, I've got far to much on my plate, I don't care what you think of me, I just wish you'd let me be, Respect my rights and I'll respect yours, Stop being such miserable bores, We're all the same beneath the skin, Throw your hatred in the bin, CHORUS: It doesn't matter what you say, Trans people are here to stay, It doesn't matter what you say, Trans people are here to stay, It doesn't matter what you say, Trans people are here to stay!
12.
(Ask Bryan, Lulu, Ash, Rodders, Naree and Kangoo...we're not entirely sure).
13.
Final Girl 04:01
VERSE 1: Now she didn't want to go camping anyway, But her friends all said it's a fun place to stay, Now the killer is coming yes he is on his way, And she didn't want to go camping anyway, VERSE 2: Now the killer is patiently waiting right outside, And he already knows all the best places that they can hide, The biggest boy of the group his hands have been tied, And his internal organs are no longer inside, CHORUS: Run away, Run away, Final girl, VERSE 3: She got away, And it looks like the war been won, But the damage has already been done, Yes it feels like the war has been won, But it feels like the damage has already been done.

credits

released January 12, 2024

Side 1:
01. Return Of The Chimpenbacker.
02. Walsall Swimming Pool.
03. Come Back Down (NiniCat/Prime8).
04. Hey Hey It's The Fever.
05. Keep It Physical.
06. Paroxetine.
07. Willy McFrood's Interlude (Maurice LaRose/Lafftrak/Billy McRilla/L'Rain Neyak/Marv Alice/J.P Gruntfuttock/Albert Steptoe).

Side 2:
08. Living In Pain.
09. Streets Of Liverpool.
10. Dark Secrets (Checkers/Prime8).
11. Look At The Size Of Them Feet.
12. A Civil Discussion In Parliament House.
13. Final Girl (NiniCat/Prime8).

THE QUAGAARS:
Prime8: 3, 6 and 12 String Guitars, Bass, Guitar Synth, Vocals.
NiniCat: Guitars.
Checkers: Synths, Programming.

HONOURARY QUAGAARS:
Mark Gredzinski: Drums (on Walsall Swimming Pool).
The Walsall Walstars: Audience (on Walsall Swimming Pool).
Lafftrak: Production and Programming (on Willy McFrood's Interlude).
Bryan, Lulu, Ash, Rodders, Naree and Kangoo: Vocals (on A Civil Discussion In Parliament House).

Recorded at Neon Chimp Studios (Boonwurrung and Woirurrung Land), The House Of Checkers (Naarm Land), Nini's Cat House (Cowley, Oxford), Maddy Smith Studios (Walsall, West Midlands), The Wheatsheaf (Walsall, West Midlands) and Bryan's Group's House at Monkey World (Wareham, Dorset).

All songs written by Prime8 unless otherwise noted.
Produced by CoCo Nuts.
Mixed by The Murphy Brothers (and Cousin Furphy).
Mastered by Big Dick Bowler.
Tea and Sympathy: B.G. Tipps.

Special thanks to all of our fans, families and friends in all the known universes.

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The Quagaars Melbourne, Australia

Originating from the Planet Quagaar, The Quagaars began making music together in the year 2000. Prime8 and Checkers released 2 albums, 2010's "Dodge City Tombstone" and 2016's "Eternal Candlelight" before being joined by NiniCat during the making of their 3rd album, "Evolver" in 2018.
The Quagaars: Bringing The Quagaarian Sound to the ears of Earth for 20 years and counting.
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